Follow your gut

I remember when Kael was a baby (or it may have been just before he was born) I mentioned to Jamie that I wanted to open a Gourmet Cupcake shop.  I could experiment with flavors, offer seasonal specialties, and be creative while also being happy with my job and making other people happy.  Because, honestly, that's what a sweet treat does!  It makes people happy!  That's why I bake! 

But he told me that a cupcake specialty shop would never take off.  No one would go to a shop for JUST a cupcake.  A full bakery with breads and cakes and cookies, etc., sure.  But not just cupcakes.

At the time, I had never made homemade bread and I knew I wasn't a well rounded baker.  So I ignored the idea and went to work for the Air Force in Communications.  Am I good at my job?  Hell, yes.  I am awesome at it.  I manage a vital mission for the entire base and I rock it daily.  But I don't enjoy it.  There is no creativity allowed.  And now I spend my free time baking and watching baking shows and learning more and more about all aspects of baking.  One of the most common shows on TV?  Gourmet cupcakes.  And specialty cupcake shops have opened nationwide for the last 7 or 8 years.  I was ahead of the curve.  I honestly thought of this BEFORE the cupcake craze began.  Had I followed my gut and my heart, I could be a successful shop owner.  I could have also fallen flat on my face because I know nothing about business.  But I could've said that I tried.  And that I pioneered in an industry that I love. 

The point of the story?  Follow your heart.  Don't let others kill your passion, creativity, and drive.  You have an idea for a reason!!  Don't ignore it!  Explore it!

Some of my fondant work over the last few years

 

You can definitely tell which ones were my first attempts.  I only do these cakes for fun and for immediate family.  They are just far too time consuming and detailed to do all the time!

 

One hour Cinnamon Rolls

When I find a new recipe that I want to try, I usually pin it to one of my many food boards on pinterest until I have time to try it.  I had saved a recipe for One Hour cinnamon rolls quite a while ago and finally used it about 6 weeks ago. My first attempt was OK but I didn't get those ooey-gooey, buttery sticky cinnamon rolls that I love and was wishing for.  So I made it again today and amped up the butter, sugar and cinnamon content.  Low carb, low calorie they are NOT!!  But I think I got just right mix of dough to filling. 

Of course, the reason I decided to make these again today was because I made my famous Melt in your Mouth Pumpkin Cookies the other day for a potluck.  How does that bring about Saturday morning Cinnamon Rolls, you ask?  Well, I had leftover icing from the cookies and didn't want to waste it so I made a cake.  Again, how does this require the baking of ooey-gooey cinnamon rolls?  Well, I made a two layer round cake.  I didn't have quite enough icing for the cake so I was going to make just a bit more.  But I poured in too much milk.  So I had to add more icing sugar to get the right consistency.  I iced the cake and still have a ton of icing left!!  So, cinnamon rolls were a necessity, you see.  Besides, it's November and the cold has set in which makes me want to bake!  But the good news is that I made SO MANY cinnamon rolls that I will be sharing with my neighbors in order to reduce the caloric intake of my household!  You see, the pumpkin cookies, spice cake, and cinnamon rolls are not the only things that I have baked in the last week. There were also butter cookies, puff pastry and focaccia bread.  OK, I'll admit it...I have a problem.  A slight addiction, maybe.  I just love a good, homemade baked treat, both savory and sweet!!

Back to the Cinnamon Roll recipe.  The recipe is from here:  http://tacpaskett.blogspot.com/2014/01/1-hour-cinnamon-rolls.html .

I followed her recipe to a T for the dough!  I love this dough.  It is easy to work with, soft and just a touch of sweet in it. The only problem I have is not really a problem but it makes a LOT of dough.  The bowl for my stand mixer is not big enough for this dough so I use my favorite HUGE mixing bowl and hold it and constantly rotate it by hand during the 10 minute mixing portion of the recipe.

To make the dough:
Mix and let sit for 15 minutes:
3 1/2 c. warm water
3/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. oil
6 T. yeast (4 1/2 Saf-Instant)

Then add:
1 T. salt
3 eggs, beaten lightly
10 1/2 c. flour

Mix together for 10 minutes, than let it sit for 10 minutes. Oil countertop and dump out the dough. Divide in half. Press one half out into rectangle.

This where I changed the recipe.  I use a lot more butter, sugar, cinnamon and I added a dash of nutmeg.

Cinnamon-Sugar
2 c. sugar
4 T. cinnamon
2 tsp nutmeg

Mix together and use half on the first piece of dough that is rolled out and use the other half for the second piece of dough.

About 1 1/4 cup Butter

Spread with 6 Tbsp melted butter and then with cinnamon-sugar mixture. Sprinkle nutmeg very lightly.  I then added MORE butter (about 6 Tbsp) by cutting it into small pieces and spreading over the sugar mixture.  Roll up along the long edge. Divide into 12 rolls and place on greased cookie sheet. Repeat with other half of dough. Let rise until desired size (about 30 minutes for me). Bake for 12-15 minutes at 400.

 

Now, Camille and Shanna have a great icing recipe at the link above, but as I mentioned, I had left over icing from my pumpkin cookies which I like even better on cinnamon rolls! 

Here is the icing recipe I used:
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 milk
1 tsp vanilla
3 3/4 cup icing sugar (powdered sugar)

Melt butter in a small sauce pan and stir in brown sugar until smooth and mixed.  Remove from heat and stir in milk and vanilla. Using stand mixer on low speed, mix in icing sugar until smooth.  Spread over cinnamon rolls once they are cool.  Oh, my oh my!  These are perfect! 

I write because I am afraid to speak.  I paint because I have no words.

A few pics from our trip to Big Cedar.  Should've shared earlier!

A new place, a new adventure!

I decided that sitting still is just not an option anymore.  I decided to take at least a couple of days and take the kids somewhere.  Jamie had a work trip with specific date and kept telling me 'I MIGHT have to go in May, I might have to go in June...'  I decided that I'm tired of waiting for it be convenient for his schedule because it just never is.  If I wait for him, it never happens.  So I planned a short, two day excursion to Southern Missouri.  Not exactly a trip to Paris but I'll take it!  We've never been there and the online photos look spectacular!

Big Cedar Lodge is just south of Springfield, so we get to take a detour through MSU and Haley is so excited!  I'm glad that Jamie and Kael get to see the campus.  The Lodge where we are staying has all kinds of activities included in the nightly rate like paddle boats, hiking trails, pools, carriage rides, waterfalls, lakes and so many photo ops!  I plan to come back refreshed, probably tired & sore and with so many new photos to work into future art pieces!

I. GIVE. UP.

Knowing when to quit

I'm relatively new to mixed media.  I'm still trying to figure out techniques that I have seen and how to accomplish on a canvas or board what I see in my head.  There are days that I can't work on art at all because life just gets in the way.  I have to say, I tend to be a bit crabby on those days.  Just like when I don't work our or go for a run, I just feel like I'm not quite myself because I need that release of endorphins from a workout and pouring of creativity onto my current piece (or pieces).

But sometimes I have to step away from whatever I'm working on.  Taking a break allows me to look at it from a distance (usually every time I walk by!) and determine what it still needs.  I have looked at pieces for MONTHS sitting on the easel, the piano or wherever before deciding that it is done or what the final touch will be! 

And then there are times that I DON'T stop.  I just keep adding paint, paper, ephemera, sanding.  It can be a struggle to realize when it is done and when I should just put down the paintbrush!!  Other times, it is difficult to put the brush to canvas!  I'm afraid that I'll ruin what I have accomplished so far!  I look at it, I like it but I know that it still needs something.  Just not quite sure what it needs or how to give it what will help to complete it!

I am learning to trust my instincts.  If it doesn't feel right or I'm not sure, just put down the paintbrush.  If I know it needs a wash or splatters of paint, just do it!  Don't be afraid to ruin it!  I have had so many happy accidents by just going for it!  The paint may not drip the way I envisioned, it may be darker or lighter or the wrong shade but you never know until you try.  I haven't found the answer.  But following my gut seems to bring the results that I am looking for.  Such is life!

A new piece

 

I started a new canvas last week in a format that I have never used before - it is 12 in x 36 in and just perfect for what I had in mind.  Two of the photos that I have used as transfers are photos that I have taken and two photos were taken by a friend who has let me use them. 

 

While working on this piece, my husband made the comment that I don't use my own photos in my mixed media pieces.  This comment made me realize two things.  Number one, he doesn't pay attention to the photos that I take!  He was with me on the beach in San Diego when I took the top photo and he was walking on the deck of the Disney Cruise Ship with me when I took the picture of the ropes and rigging. I don't know if I can change his awareness but I CAN control realization number two - which is that I don't go enough places and take enough inspiring photos! 

 

We live in the Midwest, in a small town in Illinois.  We are close to Saint Louis, Missouri and this is where he was born and raised.  But, as hard as I have tried, I am not at home here.  I'm restless for the beach, which was a constant for me until we moved here.  I miss the coast and I desperately miss my time in history-rich Europe.   I am not motivated or inspired by the views of corn fields on my way to work and the same corn fields on the way home every. single. day. 

 

Bottom line - I'm bored. 

 

BUT I know that I can find inspiring views here if I try.  So I will try.  But at the same time, I have decided to stop waiting for him to be ready to go places and experience things.  I HAVE to travel.  It is part of what makes me who I am.  A few trips over the next year are now in the works.  And I will be happier here when I get back from a road trip full of inspiring vistas. 

 

Plus, I will have so many photos of my adventures, I can create pieces with all my own photos and not need to borrow any! 

 

I have a feeling he may regret that comment that sparked the wanderlust again!

Art as therapy

There are times when I feel that I am going to lose it.  I know that everyone feels that way sometimes.  I try now to use my art as therapy.  Instead of lashing out at loved ones or crying in my bedroom (which I just DONT do!), I have started to pick up a paint brush or a pencil and create something that is driven by whatever it is that is bringing me down. 

I did this hand drawn lettering last week when I was feeling that I had absolutely no one to count on.  At work, at home...I was drowning and it seemed that everyone around me was either too busy with their own priorities to help with the tasks of daily life or they just didn't care.  I was trapped and suffocating.  Sometimes my head goes to the worst thoughts and I almost created a depressing woe-is-me painting on this particular day.  But I decided to turn it around and try to give it an uplifting, inspiring twist. 

When there is no hero in sight, I just have to learn to be my own savior.

Now to decide if I keep this piece black and white or add color with muted watercolor...

Just do it!

I've started blogs before and, after a while, stop posting because I run out of things to say or time to put them into words.  But, here goes another one!  An art blog.  Strange coming from me.  I always see blogs about artists who say 'I've had a paintbrush in my hand since I was 5' or 'As a kid, I cut up all my moms clothes to sew a new fashionable outfit.'

Well, that's not my story. 

I was a quiet kid, didn't really get noticed for anything.  I was good in school but never the best at anything.  And I was told over and over that I just didn't have a creative streak.  I had a more logical mind and should focus on academics and becoming a teacher or something like that.  I think that the more you tell someone something, the more likely they are to believe it. 

After a while, I believed that any idea that I had that was 'outside the box' was stupid and I would NEVER tell anyone the thoughts that crossed my mind.  I might write them down but would never let anyone read them for fear of being made fun of.  I have always had stories whirling in my head and may have made it as an author but never tried because I was told to focus on practical academic pursuits. 

I joined the military after high school because I was bored with academics - no creativity allowed in the ranks of the military! Strict adherence to policies and rules, even ones that don't make sense. 

I started scrapbooking, like everyone else, in the mid 90's.  I think that was the start of my artistic exploration.  It was a way to document the memories that my growing family was creating and also taking a break from the never-ending duties of a young mom.  At first my pages were simple and usually copied from idea books.  But I received more and more praise when I branched out and did things my way.  Now I have so many different types of art that I create and different mediums that I reach for, I always have several projects in the works. 

I have a reputation now of being creative and artistic.  People wonder how ideas come so easily to me and how I can create for days on end without running out of ideas.  I say that I am proof that everyone can create.  After being convinced as a child that my ideas should be stifled and that I had no imagination, I see now that wasn't true.  If only I hadn't wasted so many years. 

So don't listen to the naysayers.  Design. Create. Share.  Don't worry about others will say. Just CREATE!

And, most of all, don't listen to the voice in the back of your head that says you aren't good enough.  You are more than good enough.  You are amazing!